In his silence all he could hear was his own sad sniffing. His face was filled with tears falling from his red swollen eyes. He closed the door behind him without locking it. He left a note on the dresser.
«Dear someone. What do you do when the future you predicted and the life you planned out so perfectly slips through your fingers? What do you do when it feels like you´re dead in the dark but your heart keeps providing life, even though every heartbeat feels like a struggle for survival. What do you do when the unbearable pain in your stomach defeat the presence of hunger? What do you do when you wake up every morning realizing you lost your dreams on the battlefield called reality? I'm lost in this whirlwind and I'm sorry.»
His destructive thought patterns would clutter the most obvious rays of light sent his way. Every day as he woke up he felt a brief moment of no memories, no worries. Just a blissful emptiness. But then it hit him. Reality. It hit him so hard he couldn't breathe through the ache and endless tears. The pain was always right around the corner, calling his name pulling him back into his misery. He couldn't even remember when it all began, when his happiness went below zero and all of his dreams vanished. He could hear a voice of self-love trying to enter his thoughts but it drowned in the floods of a devil on his shoulder sending tsunamis of fear and hatred. He was so lost in his loneliness feeling no hope of escape. He could sit for hours crying tears of sorrow no one ever saw. Talking words no ever heard. No one knew what he was really going through. No one would ever really listen and no one had the time to guide him. He couldn't take it anymore. He got on his bike and went far into the woods.
"Is anybody out there?" He said, but received no answer.
"Give me a sign! A reason not to give up!"
"Look around." A voice said.
"Do you see the sunflower and the palm tree?" The voice continued.
He flinched before he calmly answered.
"I once planted a sunflower and a palm tree seed, each with their own purpose. I took amazingly good care of both. I gave them light. I gave them love. I gave them warmth. I gave them comfort and I gave them time. The sunflower struck sprouts within days. It grew tall and yellow in its entire splendor resembling the sun. The palm tree on the other hand was still in the dark, no sprout to be seen but I didn't give up on it. The year after the sunflower grew again to be even more beautiful than I remembered. But the palm tree - nothing. I refused to give up on it. Year three arrived, no palm tree. By this time the sunflower had a family. Two more to be seen. The fourth year of waiting for the palm tree to sprout my persistence on not giving up on the palm tree still showed no signal of life. But then, after five years of nurturing and refusing to give up, a cute little sprout saw sunlight for the first time. This sprout was as tiny as it could get. It seemed almost insignificant in its majestic nature surroundings. Six months later, that palm tree stood tall and victorious as the king of its surroundings. Like the magical nature around it bended their knee to their king, all looking admirably up at it.. It took the palm tree five years to grow its roots."
He listened carefully and the voice continued.
"Don't compare yourself to others. The palm tree had a different purpose than the sunflower. They are both beautiful in their own way. But you should know one thing. No matter the magnificent power of a storm or a hurricane, the stem of the palm tree never breaks. It can bend all the way to where it looks like it's about to break. But it doesn't. It will bend, it can be harmed, it might change direction and adjust to it's environment filled with storming knock outs, taking every punch as a victorious hero, but it will stand tall. If it falls over it will rise again towards the sunlight. When the storm has passed, an even greater strength resides within the palm tree. Strength like that takes time. Growing roots like that takes time. Know this; all this time while you've been struggling in the dark you've actually been growing your own roots, like the palm tree struggled to survive through dirt growing it's roots. Every plant has to grow through dirt before it sprouts and blooms. And just like the palm tree, you too are a part of nature. Everyone is."
He soaked up every words coming to him like it was a matter of life and death. And it was.
"You will reach the same height and strength as the palm tree. Your time will come. Appreciate the darkness you're growing through. It is within this time you grow your unbreakable, untouchable, unmistakable, indestructible and unshakable roots to who you're supposed to become; a man who is as magnificent as he can be."
He started to see a great glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.
"How big and tall do you think I can get?"
He quickly got an answer.
"How big and tall does a palm tree get?"
"As big and tall as it can?"
"You understand now. Give yourself and the world the gift of growing as big and tall as you can be, my friend."
He sat down, pulled up a piece of paper and a pen and wrote. "Be the palm tree. Stand tall. Be victorious." He came home with a life saving story as he answered his own suicide note.
"Dear someone. (I'm someone!)
What do you do when the future you predicted and the life you planned out so perfectly slips through your fingers? (It's only your seed being planted in the dark.)
What do you do when it feels like you´re dead in the dark, but your heart keeps providing life, even though every heartbeat feels like a struggle for survival? (You're about to rise!)
What do you do when the storming pain in your stomach defeat the presence of hunger? (You stand tall!)
What do you do when you wake up every morning realizing you’ve lost your dreams on the battlefield called reality? (You go for victory!)
I'm lost in this whirlwind and I'm sorry. (It's ok. I'm your friend and I will never let any storm break you! Be the palm tree. Stand tall. Be victorious. Sincerely, you.)"
All he needed was someone to actually listen. Someone to guide him. Someone to encourage him. Be that someone for others. And for yourself; be the palm tree.